I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been pondering some things, and I’m worried that my blog will not be a source of encouragement as I intended it to be. I have to accept that this is real life. Not some fairly tale weight loss story that you see in the book stores. You know the kind. The person was seriously overweight, and they made all these changes, and it was so easy, and this is all you have to do to have their success. “If it worked for me then it will work for you.” I want that too, but they don’t work for me. I’ve come to realize that it’s not an educational thing, or even a physical one. I do have physical issues that I have to work around, but I can do it. I have all the training I need to be successful. I’ve seen a dietician and worked with a physical trainer in the past. I know the magic calorie number to stay under to lose weight. I know that cardio alone isn’t enough. I’ve come to understand that this is an issue with my mind.
Last time I wrote I compared how my struggle reminded me of my issue with cigarette smoking. All it took was about a week to get over the physical addiction of the nicotine. After that it was all in my mind. At least quitting smoking is easier. You have to smoke in designated places, and even when you do people give you horrible stares. But eating is everywhere. It’s at work luncheons, fast food restaurants that are everywhere you drive, birthday parties, the frozen food section at the grocery where they keep the ice cream. I know that eating bad things is bad for me, but I do it anyway. I’ve come to think that I have a lot in common with the people on the show My 600 Pound Life. Many of the things I hear on there can be applied to myself. So why can’t I say no to the temptations all around me?
After some pondering I think the issue is because I’ve never had healthy role models growing up. My grandma, bless her heart, was a country girl who worked in the fields with her other eleven siblings, and at the end of the day they ate chicken fried steak with gravy and mashed potatoes. The calories didn’t matter because they worked it off all day long. So this was how we ate, and on top of that, food was a gift and reward to us for more reasons than one. No one emphasized eating healthy, or working out regularly. We had veggies because grandma grew them, but they weren’t pushed upon us to eat them. So today it’s an effort to include them in my meals. I’m good with meat and fruit, but veggies aren’t on my radar.
It’s not just me though. My husband grew up with food being a reward and a way for his mom to show her love. Especially today this continues to be the case. We don’t have friends who are conscientious of healthy food habits, and we don’t’ have that background to draw from, so we both continue our bad habits from childhood. On the other hand, my sister-in-law grew up with good food and health habits from her mom, and she hands this down to her kids. From my view, she makes it look effortless. It’s just the way it is. And it probably is. She grew up that way. They live four hours away, so they aren’t close enough to make a visual impact on how we live.
After all this thought, the new questions for the week are these. How does living a healthy life become second nature for people who didn’t grow up with healthy role models? How can we make eating right and working out just something we do? To say no thanks, without batting an eyelash, when offered a cup cake? What does it take to change our mindset?
I’ve contemplated quitting this blog and taking this journey offline. This is real life, very personal, and not always happy. I fear also that one day while I’m looking for a new job, a possible employer will stumble upon this and say uh no. I’m not hiring this person. She’s a food junkie with no control. Employers today look you up online sometimes before making a decision. But I have to stop being afraid. That’s one of my issues. If I have at least one person who is finding this helpful, it’s worth it to me. I mostly feel very alone in this fight. I don’t have much support to be successful. Hopefully this will help at least one person feel like they are not alone. If you stumble onto this blog and find this journey interesting, please like it so that I know it’s helping someone out there.
I hope you have a great week.
Eat well and prosper!