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Chocolate Mutiny

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Chocolate had always been my achilles heal. I didn’t even discriminate. Chocolate can be in cookies, cakes, cupcakes, candy bars, cake pops, I don’t care.  I want it. Half a year ago I decided to detox from sugar all together and quit cold turkey. I had no choice. I was an addict, and there was no limiting myself. Once I had sugar, it was on. One time my daughter and I made chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing from a box. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I blacked out, because in an hour’s time, half of them were gone. After some detective work we came to the conclusion that I was the perpetrator. Yep it was that bad.

After the initial melt down of detox, the cravings were manageable. I really don’t crave sugar that much anymore. That’s both good and bad. I used sugar and chocolate as a reward and crutch, and now it’s kind of sad because what do I do now? I have to find a new way to reward myself or deal with stress, but that’s a whole other blog post.

So, today when I walked into the Randalls grocery store, I was surprised when my thoughts instantly darted to the idea of getting a chocolate iced donut. Now where did that come from? You might say to yourself, “If I’m going to eat those calories I’m getting a real donut from Shipley’s or Krispy Kreme. Might as well do it right.” Oh no my friend. Try one from Randall’s if you have one near by. You will be shocked. That’s where it’s at.

Thankfully, after peering longingly into the donut case – it was really getting kind of creepy from an outsider’s point of view- I walked away. In my infinite wisdom, I rationalized with myself. If I was going to be bad, then how could I still have chocolate, but minimize the damage? Great thinking! My brain is learning to think myself out of unhealthy situations. I hadn’t had a chocolate cake pop from Starbucks in forever, and I know they are 160 calories, so why not do that? Score! So I go up the elevator – yep lucky me there’s a Starbucks right upstairs- and asked for a chocolate cake pop. Guess what? They were out!! I was horrified. After all of that? Wow. I was speechless. The barista tried to help me by telling me they still had birthday cake pops available. But you know that feeling when you have your mouth ready for something and you can’t have it? Where nothing else is good enough? Once the shock subsided, and I was able to speak again, I kindly told her no thank you.

In the end it was for the best. I’ll take it as a win, even though the forces around me were what saved me from myself, and not me doing it.

I used to love chocolate iced donuts so much that I can tell you from looking at this picture from google images, that this fine specimen, is from Krispy Kreme.

Thin Wisdom

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The wisdom of a healthy man is invaluable. You don’t take advice on losing weight from a fat person. I don’t remember where I read that but it stuck with me.  Kind of tough love, but true. I’ve had to catch myself a few times when trying to give advice because I still don’t have it figured out. I’m still overweight. But my boss can give it.

When it’s just me in the office, and the guys are somewhere else, my boss will sometimes strike up some small talk. I’m not good at small talking with bosses but I had always wondered how we went from being heavy to slim in eight months, so I asked. Why not? I’ll give this small talk thing a try.

He told me that he has always struggled with his weight and has a sugar addiction problem that he has to keep in check. One day – oh I can’t remember if it was his friend or brother- got him into running and he fell in love with it, and as a result, he shed a bunch of the weight the first six months. After that he started reading and learning and applied what he’d learned to his life. He gave me some pointers and one saying that I don’t think I’ll forget anytime soon which I’ll include at the end.

Food for him is a six ounce piece of meat -varied between chicken and pork- steamed vegetables and a cup of grains like brown rice or quinoa. That’s it. Simple. He also eats lots of proteins because he is now working on gaining muscle.

On getting started working out he said don’t do three or four twenty minutes workouts a week, do something every day. Do ten minutes of something you like every single day. This works to make it a habit, and if you like doing it, then you will keep doing it. Over time add more minutes to it.

My favorite thing he said was, “You can’t run away from what you eat.” This part of the conversation went on for a bit, but it came down to this; if you eat badly it WILL catch up with you no matter how much you work out.  I thought that was a pretty cool saying since his choice in workouts is running.

So there you have it. Words of wisdom from a healthy man. It was a good conversation. I may choose to engage in more small talk with my boss. It’s good advice from a man who knows.

How Did I Get Here?

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I have always struggled with my weight. They say there’s usually a reason why people choose to look to food for comfort and I believe that to be mostly true. We all have our demons that we try to keep locked behind closed doors, but it’s when we aren’t paying attention that they somehow free themselves and whisper in our ear that we should eat a chocolate cake pop to make it all better again. This blog’s purpose is to share with you my journey to living a better, healthier life. I’ve tried so many things to lose the weight but it always comes back. I love cycling, kayaking and taking walks.  I’ve seen a nutritionist and a trainer and aside from my weight, I’m healthy. So what gives? This blog isn’t for those who want to find all the answers to be thin. I’m still overweight so I don’t have them. But I will, for me.  One way doesn’t work for all.  I do know that. But if you are here to follow someone who struggles with some of the same things you are going through, to know you aren’t alone, then you are in the right place. Just imagine, we are going on a road trip with you in the passenger seat, and there’s a beautiful sunset closing out the past so that we can welcome a new tomorrow.

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